One of the amazing things about travel is that it frees you up from the tethers of your current life. This is what a pilgrimage is all about, and this is where I found myself after my recent exploration of the vast land of the Baltic Sea region and Portugal.
I traveled with a close friend, also doing internal work on maternal lineage and mother wounding. It felt especially powerful to us for a healing ceremony. We sat quietly on the shores of Tallinn, Estonia facing the Baltic Sea, creating a ritual sand art. She was in deep release mode and I was reclaiming love that had gotten lost in the midst of a long line of neglect.
As I find myself integrating in my homeland, I realize this traumatic imprint of neglect is such a common (yet unseen) one. In practice, I often see neglect at the heart of many complex chronic issues: fatigue, insomnia, addiction, codependency, and unworthiness.
What happens energetically with those who’ve experienced neglect?
During our development, we never received the message from our caregivers that we are valued, loved and luminous at our core.(Most likely because they never received this reflection either).
Not being imprinted with ‘enoughness or worthiness’ can cause a couple of things to happen: we seek validation from the outside world and we can give – out of really needing – to receive.
Living from the place of being externally vs. internally oriented is difficult.. Neglect makes it hard for us to steer the helm of our own life in a direction of our choosing. Our orientation has always been in response to what others need from us. (And – we often attract needy or narcissistic people because we’re so good at tending to what’s outside of ourselves.)
The upside is that we can be quick witted and creative, with the capacity to respond calmly and with warped speed to crises. The interesting part is when you ask many of us what we really want, it’s so common to draw a blank. As if our internal compass is broken.
So how do we heal such a deep wound?
We need to be reminded of the truth (over and over) that we ARE in fact valuable as we are regardless of how much we achieve in this lifetime. We need to:
🌱replenish in nature
✨cultivating our spirituality
🥗 eat intentionally
🧘care for our physical body
❤️experience connection in community
I am neck deep in this alchemical process of repair and repair-enting. I understand the needs of a safe, slow, deep, space required to transmute shame, loss, sorrow, and fear into pride, love, joy, and hope.
I’ve watched person after person sit in ceremony with me and remember who they actually are, by tapping into their unlimited creative power. It’s inspiring..