Have you ever felt uninspired, stuck or unsure of what’s next? Maybe your dreams seem so far away, or you feel dull and disconnected. These could be signs that your heart energy could be inaccessible. Over time, we build walls around our hearts in response to grief, loss, or trauma. While initially a form of protection, these walls eventually keep us stuck, blocking the flow of vital energy needed for healing.
Why is this so important? Love is the fuel for healing, and heart energy is a powerful source of vitality. In Tibetan medicine, the energy of the heart is seen as the lifeblood of our well-being. The heart’s energy channels flow throughout the body, supporting all of our vital organs. When our heart energy is open and abundant, it nourishes every part of us. But when we create a “heart wall”—whether from emotional pain or a guarded heart—it diminishes the energy that flows to the rest of our organs, limiting our ability
to heal.
So, how do we begin to heal? The answer lies in cultivating self-love. Self-love isone of the most transformative and essential practices we can dedicate ourselves to, yet it is often the missing piece in our healing journeys.
In Honor of Valentine’s Day, Let’s Talk About Self-Love
A lack of self-love can be the biggest obstacle to both your happiness and your healing. When you’re unable to offer love and compassion to yourself, it’s difficult to fully heal from past wounds. After all, the longest relationship you’ll ever have is with yourself. Above all others, it’s important to be kind and gentle with your own heart.
Signs You May Need to Nourish Greater Self-Love:
- You tend to focus on external achievements and think about what’s next.
- You feel inadequate or constantly working to improve
- You often compare yourself to others.
- You feel like you need to “earn” your worth (e.g., “When I finish this, then I can relax or feel good about myself”).
- Your sense of self-worth is tied to productivity or achievement.
- You have trouble saying “no” or setting healthy boundaries.
- You find it difficult to let go of the past or to just BE present in the moment.
In our childhood development, we learn to feel “enough” when we receive love and validation from our parents or caregivers. However, it’s extremely common that our caregivers struggled with loving themselves. This intergenerational lack of self-love is unconsciously passed down. As a result, we may end up draining our own energy into external sources, giving away what we most need for our own healing and well-being.
We can’t fully reflect the love we desire from others if we don’t first give it to ourselves. As we heal, part of the process is reparenting ourselves—learning to show up for ourselves in ways that may not have been modeled for us in childhood.
How to Cultivate Self-Love
The key to unlocking your heart energy is to make a “U-turn” back to yourself. Begin by catching yourself in those moments when you are focused on the next thing or filling a void. Instead, gently turn your attention inward. Take a deep breath, center yourself, and affirm, “I am enough. I am whole. I am worthy of love.”
You can also invite the presence of a loved one—whether they’re alive or have passed—or a spiritual connection to see and support you in this practice. Imagine them holding space for you as you soak in the love you need.
I love turning to certain tastes and smells for heart nourishment. Orange, basil, and cacao are all known for their heart-healing qualities. The fresh, uplifting scent of orange helps calm the nervous system, while basil replenishes and restores. Cacao, known as the “food of the heart,” provides deep, maternal nourishment for the soul.
Let’s let the energy of Valentine’s Day encourage us to make self-love a priority. By nurturing our hearts, we unlock the potential for true healing and abundance in every aspect of our lives.