Have you been struggling to stay positive lately?
If you’ve been keeping up with world events, it’s simply too much for our nervous systems to tolerate. If this wasn’t enough, many of us struggle with ongoing physical illness or the weight of past trauma. It’s incredibly challenging to maintain a positive outlook when we’re feeling our lowest, whether physically or emotionally.
Negative programming often affects us behind the scenes, without our conscious awareness – and I’m no stranger to this. These ingrained neurological pathways are formed when we’re very young and can become our default orientation. My mom is a quintessential “negative Nelly”, and I, having soaked that in during my development, became sarcastic (and a funny!) child. I vividly remember when I was about five years old, being babysat by my grandmother. She looked at me and said, “How did you become so negative?” as I made snarky comments about every commercial that came on.
Negative beliefs are often so deeply ingrained that we don’t even recognize them for what they are. They were actually developed as survival mechanisms, passed down through generations to protect us.
This is why I get so frustrated with the advice to “just think positive”. It’s way more complicated than that, negative beliefs are literally baked into your operating system as a part of your body’s survival response. Rattling off daily positive affirmations falls so short of reframing this.
As affirmation of this programming I’ve worked so hard to heal, I recently took a ‘saboteur’ quiz, and my #1 saboteur was indeed the victim. The victim reflects the negative programming, and it lurks behind the more prominent roles I play in life – the warrior/advocate and the rescuer/healer. I’ve always had this mindset of pushing through and helping others, but when things go sideways, that victim side of me definitely shows up. Fatigue, lack of motivation, and heaviness are all hallmark features. I know I’m not the only one who faces challenges like this.
So…if you feel that hidden negative programs could be lurking behind the scenes, I want to share a few ways to work with them. This is an important piece of your healing puzzle if you’ve got deep roots in trauma because building positivity is part of your strategy for getting well. You will need to believe that your body can do the work to heal itself.
Read about four ways i’ve found in practice to help shift into a more positive mindset on the blog.
1) Begin the practice of orienting toward something positive This is like building a muscle and will take some time, but with intention you can start to build the ‘positive pathway’ by first noticing negativity or self-judgement. You can say, I notice I had the thought that…(This is from Byron Katie’s work). The very act of inserting the word ‘notice’ into the sentence shifts the energy. Then choose a positive reference point – a memory of an enjoyable interaction, a beautiful place you feel connected to, or something you are looking forward to experiencing in the future.
2) Connect to a Higher Power and Remember the Big Picture When life feels overwhelming, it’s super easy to get lost in the micro. The day-to-day challenges can become all-consuming, but there’s always a bigger picture. I find it’s important to slow down, unplug and create space. Connecting to a higher power – whether through spirituality or simply gazing at the sun – can create a reprieve out of current struggles. Regularly connecting to the belief that there’s something much greater at play goes a long way to ease
3) Clear Out Negativity Through Rituals and Self-Care Negative energy can accumulate in our bodies, minds, and environments. Rituals like energy clearing, guided meditation, or intentional time in nature can help clear out the heaviness. Incorporating self-care practices that feel nurturing and uplifting to you is essential for reframing and healing. Create time for activities that feed your soul, whether it’s a simple walk in nature, a favorite creative outlet, or a practice like yoga or journaling.
4) Spend Time with Uplifting People and Experiences The people we surround ourselves with play a huge role in our energy. Negative beliefs can become so entrenched that we may not even realize how much they impact us, but the energy we surround ourselves with affects our mindset. Notice how you feel after spending time with others in your circle, and seek out those who uplift and inspire you. Being around people who support you and promote joy and laughter, can help shift your focus and break free from negative patterns.
Shifting negative beliefs is a process, not a quick fix. These beliefs were formed over years – generations even intentional effort is involved, so its important to have patience and self-compassion. By acknowledging our patterns, consciously working to choose different perspectives, and surrounding yourself with positivity, you’re paving the way of creating new neural networks!